My name is Bree Bonchay,  and I am a Los Angeles basedimg_9351  psychotherapist (LCSW) trained as a general practitioner, but I have narrowed my scope to relationships, which is not really all that narrow. I graduated from the University of Southern California with a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work. Prior to entering USC, I attended California State University, Northridge, where I completed my Bachelor degree in Journalism with a minor in Psychology. I am an advocate and have appeared on several radio shows as a guest expert and the author of the book, I Am Free: Healing Stories About Surviving Toxic Relationships With Narcissists And Sociopaths.

After graduating from USC, I had plans to start a private psychotherapy practice. Well, what I discovered through my years of working with people and my own personal experiences is that interpersonal relationships are the “currency of life ” and the most valuable resources we have. Ultimately, the quality of our relationships, whether with family, friends, intimate partners or co-workers determines the degree of our happiness and our overall physical and mental well-being.

However, my 15 plus years as a practicing Psychotherapist working with clients suffering from Major Depressive Disorder to Paranoid Schizophrenia and everything in between did not protect me against the deceptive talents of a covert malignant narcissist.

This is what inspired me to focus on educating people and building awareness about narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Relationships can be the source of our greatest joys or the cause of our worst pain. Good relationships can enrich our lives, add value, provide support and guidance. Bad relationships often cause depression, anxiety, decreased self-esteem and take a toll on our physical health. We can’t control much in life, but we can control who we allow into our lives and who we choose not to. Since our happiness and physical and mental well-being are directly dependent upon these choices, there is no better time to arm and empower yourself with knowledge about these toxic individuals.
















19 thoughts on “ABOUT

  1. I just found your blog by following a link about one of your posts. I find your site to be refreshing, honest helpful & informative. I was married over 20 years to a Svengali narcissistic psychopath that I finally managed to escape from – after I had lost everything – including my only child. I have discovered a treasure trove of information on your site to share with my readers – I am following your blog & will return frequently. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do to help others!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Darque, I’m so glad you managed to escape the narc/psycho after 20 years! Thank you so much for your kind comments. I hope your story and blogs and my articles give your readers the strength and validation to set themselves free!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A quick question, one we forget to ask as web-site people who can easily link. But I want to ask permission as in the not-too-distant future I will be bringing up a site primarily about divorce recovery. What is you policy regarding linking, article attribution/credit, etc.? I will be “joining” relationshipedia (great name by the way) so that if you wish to communicate offline you can find my email but figured this was a good place to post so that others will read your answer.


  3. Thank you very much for your site Bree !
    It is such a relief to have the chance to get in contact with people who do understand…
    Until three years ago I tought I am the only person in the world that suffers an unbelievable situation….I almost gave up,because noone wanted to believe me !
    I was isolated even more…

    But now, I have found new power and lust for life !!!!
    Very nice done,Bree !
    So wonderful !

    Christiane Carradine

    Liked by 1 person

  4. i want to write my story in your ‘I AM FREE’ book but I don’t think I can get in all I need to say by the 30th of October.


    1. I know it’s hard to describe them narcissistic abuse that you endured in 2000 words or less. Everyone feels like they have to tell their story from beginning to end. But if you focus your story to one of the topic ideas listed on the website it will still have a major impact. Try to narrow it down to a specific topic whether it be gaslighting, discard, your worst day, the moment you realized you were with a narcissist, triangulation, a turning point. The compilation of stories that will give a complete picture of what narcissistic abuse is. Write about something that stands out in your mind. I hope that helps. And we look forward to reading your work. ~ Bree


  5. Bree, My name is Kay. I am the Executive Director of the National Alliance for Targeted Parents (targetedparent.com) We are a nonprofit, grassroots, organization of parents fighting to stop our narcissistic ex-partners from psychologically abusing our children. We never give up trying to save our children, despite being the target of the abuser’s relentless, retaliatory abuse and the staggering lack of support from law enforcement, mental health and legal professionals.

    It’s one thing to get away yourself, and another thing when your have children with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. The divorce itself causes the Narc. to “melt down” into persecutory delusions and we are the target. They then triangulate the children into a cross-generational coalition against us. Then they induce the children to; suppress their attachment to us, share the narcissistic delusion, and mirror narcissistic and borderline traits. It is the cruelest type of torture anyone can inflict on a parent and it also causes severe damage to the children’s developing brain. Because the charismatic narc is now backed up by children, who express hatred and resistence to have any relationship with us, courts give these abusers custody in over 3/4 of the high conflict custody disputes.

    This is an extremely timely topic with all the profound research on attachment and brain development. Injured narcissistic ex-partners are extremely dangerous, yet year after year they continue to pscyhologically abuse thier children to be used as abuse weapons against the other parent. It is a complex scientific dynamic, but it has a very simple solution. The children express painfully obvious symptoms of child psychological abuse confirmed, by the DSM-V. as described above, As with any type of child abuse there must be protective separation from the narcissistic abuser during the time the child reestablishes thier authentic self and thier attachment with their emoitonally available parent. Their symptoms can disappear in as few as 4 days and the children develop a resistance to falling back into the control of that parent. The Narcissitic parent can be reintroduced after a few months, bu tif the symptoms return, the separation may have to be more long term.

    We really need experts in this area in a number of ways. I hope you can expand you discussion to include how devestating it is for the ex-parnter and the children of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. I’d love to tell you what we are doing, and would appreciate your support by signing up on our website for our weekly news and updates.

    Thank you for launching your site. It fills a real need.



    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kay, thank you for sharing this very important topic. I’ve been wanting to address this topic as it is so prevalent and plan to post articles on this subject after the beginning of the new year. You have my full support and I would love to receive your weekly news and updates. Thank you for helping parents and children that are being emotionally and psychologically abused by narcissistic parents post divorce who then have to endure further mistreatment and not managed properly in our family courts. ~ Bree


  6. Bree:

    Just discovered this site and keep reading, reading, reading as I break my addiction.

    The tab at the top MEMES ABOUT NARCISSIST is broken. Generates a page not found error on you site (not generic error message)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Do the narcissist know what they r doing to u? The words love bombing– gaslighting? .. The one i was involved with did everything listed- i caught on yet hung on- im still sad and depressed- i fought for doing whats right and knew he had no self sorry- but the abuse was un real


    1. I believe they know exactly what they’re doing but I also believe that their behavior is so automatic for them. In the same way kind and compassionate people don’t think about being kind and compassionate, they just naturally are.


  8. I’ve been privileged to be helping a friend through recovery from a narc-ex for 3 years now. Narc-ex did the expected and married a new supply within a year of the divorce. The new supply has recently reached out to my friend, mostly because my friend’s adult daughter recommended it. I’ve been searching online for advice on this scenario without much success. Thoughts?


  9. I am a huge fan of yours, stunning and with amazing information. You really helped me in my last break up with a narcissist.


  10. So glad I found your site.It was the right time to let go although I wanted to at earlier times. Nearly one week into No Contact I’m now going Stover one day at a time. Can’t wait to read more of your blog. Thank you.


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